


Blind Date: AOT x BNHA AU Crossover

by Lady_Rhey



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-16
Packaged: 2020-12-20 18:10:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21060977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Rhey/pseuds/Lady_Rhey
Summary: Note: The students of Class 1-A are in college in this story while the professors have scaled appropriately making them around 21.  The same goes for the cadets of AOT (though Levi has also aged accordingly as well and is 36).For members of Squad Levi, part of the Army's 104th Corp, love and romance came at a high price.  With little time, and for some even less patience, there were few women who lasted more than a night if they even got that far.  So what happens when on a whim, thanks to Hanji and his shitty marriage, Captain Levi decides to create a profile on an online dating site that actually gets an interesting hit?Enter Midnight, Keigo, Jirō, Momo, Ochaco, Bakugou, Denki, Kiri, and Bakugou who participate in a #weaksexgame challenge just to settle a feud between Keigo and Baku about who's the most eligible man.  When the dust settles and everyone's accounts on Militarycupid.com are created, unexpected relationships will form and the truth about love, sex and duty will be redefined as every embarks on their Blind Date.This is a joint venture between me and MsUwu on here.





	Blind Date: AOT x BNHA AU Crossover

041400RApril23 Levi leaned back against the driver side door of his black limited edition Audi A8 in the parking lot of Fort Bragg, North Carolina's offices. Being the clean freak he was, there was absolutely no smoking in his ride, so lighting a Djarum Black clove had to wait until he was outside with all the windows and doors closed.

This early in the morning, the air was still crisp since spring was starting to seep into his small version of hell. There wasn't much to say about this base versus any of the other American posts he had been at.Like the others, it was overpopulated by idiots despite being the home of the Army's Special Operations Command.It was laid out in a similar geometric fashion as well, with his Spec Ops Ranger unit housed in the T shaped complex south of the main barracks.

His complex. He thought as he gave a sharp disgusted laugh. The one that held the very thing that ignited a new fire to the war zone that ran on repeat in his mind ever since he had come home injured and hadn't been the husband she expected.

Reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket, he took ahold of the familiar cancer box.Pulling it out, he opened the lid, shifted, and then trapped a single clove in the right-hand side, then popped it up with a quick jerk before putting his lips on the filter and slowly pulling it out.Within seconds the sweet aroma of black tea and clove cut into the bitter air that assaulted his nostrils as he took in a long breath. 

Placing the box back in his coat, he reached into his other pocket for his lighter, which he snapped open as he took it out, causing a sharp click before his thumb ground the gear that lit the flame of his chosen sin.One of two sins he didn't regret: cloves and joining the Corps. 

How that bitch hated him smoking.Even since they first started dating, though, she continued to lie about it for the next seven years of their following marriage, saying she loved the taste it left on his mouth and the scent on his clothes.Come to find out once he came home injured with a broken collar bone after his tactical hummer hit an IED on a routine patrol in Mosul causing it to flip and subsequently trap him under it since he had been manning the turret and couldn't get inside when it happened, there was a lot she couldn't stand and had lied about. 

That was why he was here back at work because just existing in her space sparked a fight these days. At first, it was that dinner wasn't ready as soon as she got home since she worked for the local Waste Management company full-time as an environmental protection manager, and he was on medical leave. Quite ironic, he was even able to coexist with her at all, also deployed, when you think how destructive many military operations are since they don't kill people or things they 'depopulate the area.'

When she wasn't bitching about that, it was 'Why isn't the house clean, you've got nothing fucking else to do.'That one pissed him off.She knew he kept the house spotless, but she would run her finger pompously across a surface and grimace before rubbing her fingers together in disgust.That's when he talked to his CO and got a job teaching at the U.S. Army John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School located one base.

Bringing the flame to the cloves tip, Levi took in a sharp, quick drag before releasing the smoke out of his lips.As the embers burned and lit, he thought back onto what had gotten him here. Taking a longer second drag, holding it, and then releasing it slowly through this nose, so the cloves' sickly sweetness coated the membranes of his nose engraining the smell of his rebellion into the fibers of his being, he was forced to acknowledge how desperate he had been when he married her.He should have realized sooner he could only stand her because she wasn't around him all the time and that he only married her because they shared some interests. That and had also been afraid of dying and no one knowing or caring.

With each brush of his lips against the only sweetness left to his current hollow existence, he replayed more and more of the failures that encapsulated both his marriage and his career.As his left arm extended down to his side, he subconsciously lifted his right hand up to run over the knot left where the collar bone hadn't healed right. He would never be active duty again since he couldn't fire a gun. All more massive artillery had to have their butts braced against the right shoulder, so ammunition didn't fly into the shooter's eye when the shells ejected, and since he couldn't stabilize the gun or absorb the recoil effectively, he wasn't fit for duty. This became yet another point his 'beloved wife' always stabbed and twisted with since, come to find out, he was only a five at best, and being nonactive duty made him even less attractive.

"Damnit."His exasperated exhale sounding ten times more audible in the early morning silence as he leaned down to push out the cherry before sniffing out the remnants of the cloves flame, a mirror to the death of his purpose now that it had been used up.

Walking to the nearest smokers station, he discarded the butt before heading to his office.There was plenty to do at the academy's curriculum was broad and strict, a blessing really at times like this.Being there also made him feel less obsolete and discarded. 

Upon entering his office, he took off his jacket, hung it on the back of his chair, and sat at his desk.He usually would turn on the lights, but tonight, lights illuminated too many realities he would instead leave clouded and unseen.By this point, it was 1530, and he was at that point where his brain fought with his body in an attempt to indulge in sleep.His eyes were twitching, and his hands shook slightly, but there was no way after the fight they just had about how he would never be able to support her of he couldn't go back to active duty again because she wasn't willing to end her life as just a Captains wife.She wanted to be much more significant.

If Levi was ever to claim to have regrets in his life, 98 percent of them centered around the bad decisions he made as a result of his insomnia.There was the time he tried to sneak into the mess hall and cook a late-night meal, but the 'disastrous state of the kitchen' caused him to blow the entire squad budget on Amazon buying new pots and pans, cutlery, and sanitary supplies since he could get it all next day if he ordered in the next twenty minutes with their prime account. 

There was also the time he went for a late-night drive through town for a change of scenery but ended up being rear-ended by a drunk driver who also happened to be associated with Titanimous, the notorious hacker organization that attempted to sabotage all government servers to bring about a Military free society. That interrogation lasted well into the morning.

There was also his most secretive of acts, which he kept locked with every password he could find on his phone, even going so far as to place the app and everything associated with it in Calculator+ so if anyone dug around his phone the wouldn't have anything suspicious. This was the act that had only recently started keeping him up at night: Online Dating. 

About six months ago, after their last fight, Levi decided to post a dating profile to Militarycupid.com. He didn't know or care what he was doing, but he wasn't doing much now, so getting out with other like minds didn't seem a bad idea. Besides, he had toyed with the idea of divorcing that heinous cunt for a while, so maybe being out there with someone else would help move that along. 

Much to his surprise, six months to the day, he received a reply he didn't immediately shy away from. 

Blackmamba45

Why hello there, dark and handsome.It looks like you are the perfect height to service my every need. Do you lick everything clean, or do you buff and wax the surface?

Levi's left eyebrow raised and left eye squinted as he sat at his desk chair in his office below, reading over the message in his inbox. To say he was suffering from mild disbelief was an overstatement.Within 24 hours of posting his add

"Caucasian make, early 30's, 160cm, with SEVERE attention to detail and an AVID pension for cleanliness (freakishly so some brats say). Itolerate anyone who isn't fucking annoying with stupid ideas.I have no problem disciplining/putting in their place anyone who can't keep their shit together and do their damn job. I'm very dedicated to my job though some fuckers think that makes me a workaholic.Looking for someone my age who isn't vacuous, can hold her own, doesn't create drama, and realizes I'm not going to be up to her ass because I'm picky how I spend my free time. I'm also loyal to a fault and brutally honest, so ugly hags, whores, THOT's, stupid mother fuckers, and cunts stay the fuck away."

He had more replies than he had interested brain cells.Sadly many also met the 'stay the fuck away' comment. Mamba,however, seemed articulate, attentive to detail (she at least read his bio with the references she made), and not entirely unsightly to look at once he clicked her profile.

So as Maid4u36, he replied. He had rolled his eyes when Hanji created that name for him, but it was the best of what she had to offer and as his least most hated acquaintance that came closest to bordering on the friendship he felt telling her with a punishment of death stipulation was a safe bet.

Maid4u36

There is a limit to the lengths I will go regarding cleanliness.If it isn't meant to be licked, then I won't be a savage and clean it that way. Buffing and waxing are clearly for finishing touches after the surface has had all impurities removed.It requires a firm hand and a delicate touch, as well as the ability to administer constant and consistent circular pressure.Certain upper body strength is needed and shouldn't be attempted by some feeble halfwit.

If Levi had to guess, it was her "interest" in his cleanliness that struck his interest.Did it help that she wasn't hideous?It at least made tolerating the rest of her potentially crazy-ass more fee single, but somehow he didn't think this was some fly by night invitation.

Little did Levi know this wasn't just some chance meeting. Though his attempt at love had been innocent, the staff and students of GMU inquiring on profiles like his had different motives driving them.

Three days earlier, the students and staff had made a bet courtesy of a little argument between Bakugou, the Demolition Engineering Major, and Keigo, the Sustainable and Renewable Energy Department Head and professor. It was no real secret that Bakugou had become jealous of the charming white knight during his time in school because he always seemed to have attractive girls flocking towards him, asking him how sustainable his resources were or what alternative energy sources he believed in.Sure as the three-time repeat winner of The Deloitte Energy Excellence Awards that was expected, but they were now surrounding him in droves like some mindless lemmings while all HE could get was the random Art major who wanted to 'encapsulate his flames in copper sculpture', the Fitness major focusing on yoga who thought to quell his anger would would make his flames eternally bright' or...a knuckle sandwich from his mom.

After the last 'discussion,' it had been decided that a #weaksexgame challenge to see who in a select group of students and the female and male representative from the professors could gain the most auspicious dates within three months. The rules were simple. Each person would write a dating site on a slip of paper and place it into a drawing box. Then Mr. Aizawa, the only person on campus who gave less than zero shits about any of this, so his pick was bound to be fair, would draw at random, and whatever site they picked would be the site they used to find their date(s).You could have as many first dates as you needed, BUT at the end of 3 months, the person with the longest dating record and the most successful relationship would win and be crowned The Master-dater. There would be a grading scale that would be judged by an anonymous judge; that way, no attempted bribes or flattery could affect the scores.

In the end, the participating students (drawn by straws) were Bakugou, Mina, Kirishima, Momo, Jirō, Ochaco, and Denki. The representative for the professors was Prof. Nemuri (the professor of sexual psychology) and Keigo (since he was the offending party). As the chosen few gathered around to await their dating trial by fire anxiously, Mr. Aizawa made sure to take his time in selecting a slip. 

"Goddamnit, you noose wearing quirk stealer, fucking pick already!" Bakugou finally burst out, which earned him a death glare as Aizawa snapped up his hand and read out the selection.

"Militarycupid.com."For once, there was slight amusement in his voice as a smile quirked at his lips.

"Alright, which one of you fleshlight using mother fuckers picked that so I can blow a larger hole in your ass!"

That's when Hawks shifted his weight to his side as he smirked; his arms crossed over his chest. "You would have to catch me first, Sparkler."

Before Bakugou could jump at the jibe, Nemuri's bullwhip (used in understanding sexual restraint and limitations) wrapped twice around his neck, yanking him back. "Now now, boys, save the testosterone for the bedroom.Because I'd bet money, most of you boys are one pump chumps that need a little punishment from Mama." Then she released him, wound up her whip, and left.

"With that out of the way," Aizawa sighed. "You have until the end of the day tomorrow to complete your profiles.Send me a screenshot of your screen name and a link to the page for verification.That is all.May the best team win." Then he too walked out, with Keigo nonchalantly walking behind.

"Bet I have over 200 offers by day three. Let's see if you can get half that pop rocks." He chided before disappearing around the corner.

It would take until the last seconds of the next day for all the profiles to be created and in the cases of Midnight, Keigo, and Denki, the first outreach to be completed.To say it would become an eye-opening experience would be an understatement, but isn't that let off the appeal of the ever-elusive Blind Date?


End file.
